We started a new routine called 'highs and lows' to get our kids to open up more!

My two kids are quite different. The younger one is our chatterbox while the older one barely shares a thing.

"How was school? Fine."
"What did you do today? I don't remember."

At 'circle time' in school, every kid is supposed to go around sharing one thing that makes their heart happy. My kid has 'passed' every.single.time. for over a year!

Needless to say, this has been a delicate balance in our household of trying to get more but not be pushy about it so we create a safe space.

Well, we had a breakthrough over the weekend!

Highs and Lows

We hosted friends for a few nights and got to witness one of their family rituals - "highs and lows".

Every night, this family shares one high and one low they experienced during the day. Usually done over dinner but if they can't all be present, right before bed time. I think one of the keys is that everyone is involved. Level the playing field.

They invited us to do it with them one night and I was sure my kid would pass as she scrambled to hide behind my partner and look away from everyone waiting for a response. To my utter shock, she participated! Enthusiastically.

New Daily Routine

My partner and I were shocked, and decided this was something we would need to try again. And we have, and it's worked! She will thoughtfully reflect on her day and pull out something that made her happy, and something she was less than pleased about. It's not a super long conversation but it feels special that it's coming honestly from her as opposed to a response to some sort of interrogation by us.

I'm hoping this can be a new daily routine...forever? If we can bake it in as just how our family functions, I hope we can hold it through the teenage years and beyond.

Anyway, just wanted to share! I know there are a million tricks out there so this is just one of many you could try if you have a quiet kid too.