Parenting: Stephanie Jelks

The Mindful Surrogate: Navigating the Emotional Landscape of Carrying for Another

Stephanie Jelks — Mon, 23 Feb 2026 20:46:17 +0000

How does a surrogate navigate her emotional journey? Discover the little-spoken truth behind a surrogate's journey and how she can be mindful always.

A pregnant woman’s mindset is, “I am having a baby.” A pregnant surrogate thinks, “I am helping a family become complete.” While both are pregnant, a surrogate navigates a very different journey. It’s a beautiful one, because they are helping someone else to start or grow their family.

But, how do you navigate the emotional landscape of carrying someone else’s child?

The Mindful Surrogate

Being mindful is about being present, even when everything else may seem or feel complex. It’s about being able to build boxes around things and keep everything in its place. And it is about knowing that you are enabling soon-to-be parents to start their family.

You are doing a wonderful thing by being a surrogate. Being mindful means you are always aware of the little life growing inside you, but that the baby will go to his or her legal parents at birth.

Honor Your Emotions

One aspect of this amazing journey is the ongoing changes in your hormones during pregnancy. Never suppress your emotions. Rather, honor them. Feel them. Be present and mindful, and ride the waves that you experience. There are days when things may feel complex, but other times, you will see your journey clearly.

The Emotional and Physical Connection

There is a physical and emotional bond when carrying a baby. When you are a surrogate, you can consider the child to be like a niece or nephew. They go home to their parents at the end of the day, but you get to experience some aspects of their lives. It’s kind of the same feeling. It’s about taking pleasure in the trip but simultaneously removing oneself from it.

Having a baby develop inside your body gives you a physical connection as well. You care for the child and want to help it grow healthy and strong so that when it enters the world, it is perfectly developed and ready to meet its parents.

Having a Relationship With the Intended Parents

At the beginning of your surrogacy journey, the type of relationship and involvement from the intended parents would have been established. Knowing upfront what type of involvement the parents will have can also help you keep your focus healthy.

If you have both agreed to a certain amount of contact, there will always be someone with whom to share important milestones. Some surrogates become very close friends with the intended parents and have, at times, been asked to be the surrogate for another baby.

Just as you care for the baby throughout the surrogacy, the intended parents will, in some manner or form, be part of the surrogacy journey. This is modern parenthood at its best.

Have a Support System

Something you will need to manage is how your close circle reacts to the surrogacy. If you have kids, maybe explain what’s going on and how you’re providing a lovely gift to someone else. To prevent your children from feeling excluded or sad, let them participate in the experience.

If you have a partner or spouse, you would have discussed the surrogacy with them before starting on this venture. Turn to them. Rely on them. They are there to help you and make things easier for you.

Friends at work and strangers on the street may congratulate you. You can try to explain your surrogacy journey or simply thank them and be on your way. Decide early in the pregnancy what would work best for you.

After the Surrogacy

Something people don’t always speak about is the “after” stage. This is the part where your life resumes as it was before the surrogacy. It is a transitional stage. The time when you have parted from the baby, and perhaps the parents, and you have fulfilled your part in the journey, having given the gift of parenthood.

You may feel emotional at this point. After the intended parents have taken their child, you may experience some sadness, communicate with the parents less, and feel old routines seep back into your life. This is a normal feeling. However, you can better comprehend why you are feeling a little down if you are aware that it is a necessary part of the journey.

Some Great Tips for the Mindful Surrogate

Visualization works great. Think about the baby and the intended parents and the life they will have. You made that possible.

Celebrate the end of your surrogacy. Reward yourself after handing the baby to the intended parents. Go for a massage, have a pamper day, or do something special to mark the occasion.

Be prepared. Before the birth, establish communication boundaries with the intended parents. Clear expectations mean fewer frustrations.

Always remember the reasons why you became a surrogate. This will help to keep everything in perspective.

Conclusion

You are in charge of your emotional journey as you are a mindful surrogate. It means honoring your journey and your destiny with graceful acceptance. Surrogacy can help change the lives of another couple, and the fact that you traveled this road is one you can hold onto forever.

When Your Kid Wants a Party You Can't Afford

Stephanie Jelks — Sat, 21 Feb 2026 07:14:22 +0000

Every parent wants their child to have everything they dream of, and then some. But often, finances can get in the way of your desire to fulfill your kids’ requests. This is especially true for birthdays, when they may expect big celebrations or pricier presents.

But there’s no denying that they deserve a magical childhood and happy memories! So what do you do when your kid wants a party that you can’t afford? Here are 6 tips to help you pull it off.

6 Tips for Hosting a Budget-Friendly Kids’ Party

1. Choose a Free Venue

Save on your budget by hosting at home or in the backyard, or by gathering at a public park. Choosing a free public spot is a useful tip to save on venue booking fees, as long as you pick up any food and litter before packing up the party.

2. Get Creative With Decorations

An easy way to stick to your budget is by avoiding spending heavily on conventional decorations. Instead, use your crafting skills and recruit your children or family members to make DIY decor:

Use colorful paper and string to create bunting. These could have “Happy Birthday” on them or even spell your child’s name.
Pick a color scheme for balloons and stick them to windows, banisters, and walls with double-sided tape.
Create DIY party hats by cutting colorful paper into circles and fashioning them into cones. Attach ribbons on either side to tie and secure the hat under the chin.

Get creative with this and use whatever supplies you have at home, or hit your local craft store. This is also an opportunity to spend time with your kid and get them involved if they’re interested.

3. Host in Between Meal Times

This is a neat trick to skirt the obligation of serving a full meal, which is often more expensive. Hosting in the evening or mid-afternoon is a great option, as you can just serve light snacks and sandwiches, or heat up items from the frozen foods section.

4. Rent or Borrow Party Supplies

If you’re looking to surprise your kid with entertainment like a bouncy house, it’s better to get inflatable rentals from a trusted company instead of buying one. Since most companies handle setting up your bounce house, including delivery and pick-up, this is one less thing on your list to worry about.

Borrowing board games from a neighbour or asking a trusted relative to lend you their appliances are also smart ways to be judicious about your funds.

5. Plan Activities Instead of Hiring Entertainment

Unless your kid really wants you to hire a magician or some kind of kids’ entertainer, you can save on this expense by putting together a few activities to ensure your child and their friends can have fun.

Here are a few ideas you can consider:

Host a Twister Tournament
Organize coloring books and crayons
Get a piñata for a screen-free moment of joy
Put together a movie screening with a projector and popcorn
Play a round of musical chairs
Set up a cupcake-decorating station — then everyone can eat their creations!

6. Homebaked Over Store-Bought

Store-bought cakes can be expensive. So try baking the birthday cake (or cupcakes) at home instead. This offers plenty of room for customization since you have complete control over the flavors, the frosting, and the size!

Why Communicating Matters

For some families, it can be helpful to communicate financial limits to your child (in a way that’s appropriate for their age), as this can help them understand your circumstances.

It sets clear expectations on both sides and prevents resentment in your relationship. Better yet, this conversation can be the first step to them learning the value of money.

Since this can be a prickly topic, here are a few tips for your conversation:

Explain to them that just because Mom and Dad aren’t able to make X happen, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.

Remember to reassure them with creative, budget-friendly alternatives instead of shooting down their ideas. They need to feel seen and heard, more than anything.

When suggesting alternatives, ask them to help with planning, as this can restore some agency and prevent them from feeling slighted.

Another useful tip is to give them the option between a fancy present and a big party. You’re basically giving them a choice between two reasonable options.

Talking is important because you might discover they don’t want an expensive present and just want their closest friends around on their special day. It’s also possible they’ve had their eye on something they know is a little pricey and have been saving the request for a special occasion.

Either way, communicating expectations goes both ways and can reduce friction around finances if you’re planning a party for your kid on a budget.

The 5-Minute Reset: Organizing Baby Gear So You're Not Always Searching

Stephanie Jelks — Fri, 13 Feb 2026 22:02:08 +0000

Do you often find yourself hunting for baby gear? Parents are exceptionally busy, which means your time is better spent on more important matters, such as spending time with your children.

A 2023 study shows that children demonstrate more positive emotions when their parents spend more time with them. Your time as a parent is valuable, and it’s better devoted to more important matters.

When caring for a baby, set aside enough time for planning and preparation. Cluttered baby gear and trash thrown haphazardly can lead to stressful last-minute scrambling and wasted time. The key is to be more organized and create routines you can always follow.

Adopting a More Intentional Mindset

An intentional mindset refers to the proactive practice of keeping your thoughts and actions aligned with your values. The goal is to be aware of your intention in every decision you make, which is exactly what you need if you don’t want to waste time.

Parents spend a lot of time looking for misplaced items, from baby gear to clothes. Designing a quick reset allows you to stop wasting time and avoid clutter buildup. And you need an intentional mindset to keep up with the reset.

The 5-Minute Reset Routine

A 5-minute quick reset is about setting aside a few minutes to complete tasks quickly and making it a routine. Essentially, this habit will help you reduce clutter at home and keep track of all the items in the room. Consider it a self-care practice to avoid stress and maintain order throughout the entire day.

Allocate each minute to a specific task, and use a timer to stay on schedule. Here are some of the tasks you can include in your 5-minute routine (1 minute for each task):

Put away baby bibs and clean bottles
Hang or fold baby clothes
Clear out toys on the floor
Check baby essentials and refill the diaper bag
Wipe all surfaces and return all baby gear to their proper places

Make the 5-minute reset a ritual in your daily life to make your life smoother. The quick, short, and easy to do tasks will help prevent bigger messes at the end of the day. Make sure to set a timer for each task and treat each minute as a game to help you enjoy completing them one by one.

Tips for Effective Baby Gear Management

For travel hacks with children or even if you’re just staying at home, use tips that can make your life easier. This also applies to making sure that your 5-minute reset is effective. Consider doing the following.

Create and Follow Effective Routines

Routines make everything easier and are incredibly necessary when taking care of children. Here are some strategies you can add to your routines for easier management.

Label the Basics

Put a label on everything, from wipes and diapers to creams and baby clothes. This will help family members who assist you in caring for your children.

Landing Zones

Categorize your baby essentials by zone. Keep a basket for baby bibs and clothes, and a separate basket for toys. Prepare a tray on the sink for baby bottles and breast pumps.

Weekly Toy Rotation

Group your children’s toys and rotate them weekly. It means fewer toys to clean up and easier to reset.

Nightly One-Bin Rule

Every night, keep everything in one bin and set it aside for sorting the next day.

Adopt all of these strategies to make it possible for you to use the 5-minute reset. Without them, 5 minutes won't be enough to do the routine.

Consider Smart Storage Solutions

Keeping everything in order helps you keep track of all your baby gear. It will help you clean up more easily and faster, and it will help you avoid having to look for something you lost. Smart storage solutions will always do the trick for better organization.

Use clear bins with labels for smaller baby items. Keep mittens and socks in a drawer or a wall basket.

For bigger baby gear, invest in hooks, modular shelves, and rolling drawers. Backpacks and carriers can be hung on hooks, while the high chair and crib can be stored in rolling drawers or large shelves.

List Tasks To Skip or Do at Night

Make sure you know which tasks to accomplish at night and which ones you can do the next day. One of which is when to set up your nanny cam. Do it at night, unlike the following tasks, which you need to schedule for some other time:

Kitchen deep cleaning
Laundry and folding
Sterilizing pump parts and baby bottles
Categorizing toys and organizing them on the shelf

All of these tasks need to be scheduled rather than being accomplished daily as part of your reset. It will be impossible to do so, as these tasks require a more thorough, meticulous approach. Scheduling tasks can make the 5-minute routine more effective and help you better care for your baby.